Thursday, October 18, 2018

Family Tragedies & How To Survive Them




There is an interesting twofold nature to a family being struck by tragedy. Firstly, it is likely that there are more elegant solutions to the problem at hand than you might at first imagine. This alone is comforting. Secondly, more often than not such situations do have a way of uniting the individual members within that family, and such unity is often desired anyway. Even so, of course, nobody wishes tragedy on anybody’s family, and if you are currently undergoing such a time then it is natural to feel utterly inconsolable. Irregardless, however, it’s important to try and focus - as a group, together - on what you might be able to do to move ahead. This could mean taking bold steps, or just sitting and licking your wounds collectively for a time. But you need to have some kind of an action plan if you are to come out the other side of your tragedy, refreshed and ready to face life again.


Being The Support For Each Other

Probably the most important thing to remember during such a time is to try and continue to be a huge support for each other. As long as you are able to do that, you will all individually and collectively find it much easier to see the light - and to get through it to the end of the tunnel in one piece. Clearly, we run into a problem here which needs addressing immediately; namely, that in order to be supportive for each other, you need to feel within yourself able to do so. That can be more than a little challenging when you yourself are going through a particularly harrowing or troublesome time. But there are two things to note here in order to make this process seemingly easier. Firstly, it is likely that you will find the strength necessary by virtue of merely being the parent that you are; there is something natural to this which springs through quite easily. Secondly, you will find that once you have started the ball rolling on this, it will become easier to do. Take a moment as a family to try and hold each other up, and you will find that it is the start of what you need to do to carry on as a group.


Focusing On Solutions

In certain cases, arguing that there might be ‘solutions’ at all can seem a little trite. If you have recently lost somebody, for instance, you would argue that there is no solution to be found, besides - as we have already said - being there for each other. But in the vast majority of our human struggles, there are still actions we can take - however small - which can allow us to get through the situation much more easily. Not to mention that we often start to grieve for a situation before we even know for certain that it is definitely a lost cause. You might, let’s say, have gone through the turmoil of trying to bear children, only to discover that you are infertile. Still in that circumstance, there are solutions to consider: consulting with a ConceiveAbilities surrogacy agency, adoption, fostering. By keeping focused on solutions rather than problems, you pave the way for a much more rational and sensible approach to managing whatever life may throw at you.



Looking Ahead

Tied closely in with that, but quite distinct, is the act of always trying to look ahead. As human beings, we have a tendency to look behind us at what has gone before, and to thereby make of ourselves prisoners of the past. If we can instead find in ourselves the power and tenacity to look forward - or at least, not to look back quite so much - we are much more likely to find ourselves capable of feeling strong enough to deal with whatever problems may arise. Looked upon in this regard, even life’s worst sufferings may be more manageable - and when we follow this approach as a family unit, it becomes a thousand times more powerful. If you find that you or your family have particular struggle with trying to always look ahead, bear in mind that everyone knows this feeling - but that, like muscle memory, you might be able to improve your ability to do this more easily and steadily than you might think.



The above are three practical solutions for trying to deal with a family tragedy, but even so they should not be pursued without also ensuring that you take care of yourself and those around you with a great deal of love and honor.

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